Maybach

What do we have now, my dear compatriots. One of the few people who had the courage to speak his mind, who had the strength to confront injustice and evil face to face, is now dead. He was shot right in front of his home, killed like nothing more but an animal.

We should all feel ashamed. I know that I am ashamed, as one of representatives of my nation, I have to live with the knowledge that a courageous human being was killed in a "democratic and free" Azerbaijan for what he believed in and for what he preached. For what he said and how he lived. He was not killed in a war by an enemy (although we do have a war, and we do have an enemy) - he was killed near his house, probably by a fellow citizen. His killer probably did not care whom he killed and why.

I have never met Elmar, and was never a big fan of his. I have read a few articles from the "Monitor" a few times in last few years and that was the extent of my familiarity with Elmar and his publications. However, I was always surprised and impressed by his courage, I was shocked that he was not afraid. And, if he was - it was hard to tell. He did not escape from Azerbaijan to attack the authorities from a safe distance. He stayed inside the action and accepted the responsibility for what he believed in and for what he wrote. He was not loved by most, he was feared by some, but he deserved, and probably gained, the respect of all. You did not have to agree with him, to respect him. Because he was closer to being a true and responsible citizen than most of us are, I am sad to admit.

He blasted the government, he blasted the opposition, he blasted the submissive and docile citizenry of Azerbaijan. We all are responsible for his death - we all should bear this horrible weight. It is also our fault that he is gone.

Is anything going to happen now? Anything going to change? Are the outraged Azerbaijani masses going to raise and show their indignation, proclaim the long-deserved ownership of our home, our freedom, our country, our land? Sadly, I doubt it. We have all became ridiculously comfortable with blaming others for our misfortunes and feeling sorry for ourselves, thinking that we can not change anything. “Dunya bele gelib, bele de gedejek”, one of my good friends likes to quote with irony this old Azerbaijani saying. What does the violent and untimely death of one freedom loving journalist change? I am afraid - nothing, xanimlar ve beiler. Nothing at all.

I am not an oppositionist to the current government, neither am I its supporter. I am a citizen of Azerbaijan with a bleeding heart for my nation, my people - just like many others, like most of you. However, as a rational human being, I can smell the injustice and fraud when it consumes everything around us. I can see misery, pain and confusion, when it fills the air throughout.

The painful truth? We are neither free, nor going to be free anytime soon. We were given the independence, but we have never learned to carry it with pride. We are slaves of our past, and we can not shake this past off of ourselves. The government will not care to listen or behave responsibly, if it does not feel the respect for and fear of its people - it doesn’t matter who is in charge: Aliyev, Kerimov or Mamedov. If you are week, you will be taken advantage of - isn’t that the first and most important law of nature? And so long as we remain weak, everyone is and will continue to take advantage of us - the corrupt and spoiled government, the weak, split and confused opposition, the strong, experienced and cunning outside forces. Why shouldn’t they - we allow them and we often even feel thankful to them. Why? Because we ourselves do not understand clearly who we are and what we want. And until we learn to love and respect ourselves, to be proud of being who we are - AZERBAIJANI - no one else will and, frankly, should respect us, and nothing will change.

So, my dear friends, embrace yourselves for a long and painful downfall, the trip that many other resource rich, confidence poor, lost, confused and abused nations chose to take - the road to dependency, disrespect, misery and misfortune. Unless we all wake up one day soon. Very soon.

I only wonder what else could have Elmar done, had he survived. I still have hope that Elmar’s live and death were not in vain. I hope that his place will be quickly filled with more freedom-loving, courageous, reasonable and outspoken citizens. I hope we never forget. And I still hope we will all wake up. Someday soon.

(I am not a writer, a journalist or a political activist of any kind and am not affiliated with anyone or anything. I only wanted to get this off my chest. I apologize if I wasted your time)

Azerbaijani